How The Mean Streets Roll

I remember reading about some swank Japanese hotel where they had heated toilet seats. Now that might sound a bit extravagant and over the top, but let me tell you, you don't have to fly across the Pacific to enjoy that kind of luxury. Here on the Mean Streets of Apache Junction we live the high life too and best of all my friends, it's free.

I'm sure you're saying to yourself "This is impossible. Apache Junction is the trailer park capital of the southwest". I can tell you it is possible because we do it everyday. In fact I experienced the height of such opulence just today.

I ran down to the Wal-Mart to pick up some power bait and smoked oysters. Well all of a sudden I started to feel something big brewing. I guess the Double-Double Animal Style I put IN last night was wanting to come OUT today. Well I made a bee line for the restroom.

Of course I headed for the handicapped stall. I'm not crippled or anything, but here on the Mean Streets we appreciate the extra legroom that the handicapped affords. Well as I was about to open the door, it was swung wide by a extremely large gentleman rolling on his Rascal scooter. We both nodded to each other in appreciation of the perfect toilet timing where the poop baton is handed off seamlessly.

Well my friends when I sat down, the seat was toasty warm and I was able to complete the transaction I started yesterday at the IN-N-OUT. And let me tell you, warm toilet seats are a luxury that is worth every penny. The only downside I would say is trying to hold your breath long enough for oxygen to penetrate the lingering methane cloud.