Cluck You!

We try to keep things mellow here on the Mean Streets. Crap happens and you roll with it. When you've lived your life in Apache Junction you get used to crap rolling down hill because the trailer park is at the base of the mountain. So it takes a lot to get me riled.

Well my friends, Popeye's Chicken has unleashed the freakin wolverine! I used to love Popeye's chicken. It was spicy, juicy, and flavorful-not unlike your narrator. It was unlike any fried chicken out there. My first experience with Popeye's was as an impressionable young lad on a trip to Washington D.C. It would have been my first love if I hadn't have discovered Atari the year before.

When the chain moved out to the desert, I was one of the first in line to savor the cajun flavor. The only problem was that for some reason the Popeye's were all connected to gas stations and they only took cash. Well my friends, on the Mean Streets, we are a debit card crew so Popeye's wasn't generally an option, plus a Circle K isn't the most relaxing of lunch venues. While it broke my heart, Popeye and I moved our separate ways.

Fast forward several years and Popeye's is on an advertising blitz. They're pimping their 2 piece chicken and a biscuit deal. Well when my lunch appointment bailed and I had cash in my pocket, I knew the time was right to renew the relationship.

The day turned even better when I pulled up and they were advertising 2 PIECES FOR A FREAKIN' DOLLAR. My jaw almost hit the floorboard of the ol Crown Vic. If there is one thing we love more than doughy, grease filled poultry, it's doughy, grease filled poultry at a screaming price. If only I knew the horror to come.

I paid my cash (and noticed they are taking cards so things were getting better by the moment) and waited for my turn to be served. They dumped a fresh load (again just like me) of the spicy chicken so I knew I was getting the cream of the crop.

All I can say after pulling out the first piece is that the cream has spoiled. It was small, cooked beyond the jerky state, and worst of all the skin had all the flavor of cardboard dipped in school paste.

In order to put it into perspective, I basically paid 50 cents for a piece of regular sized chicken and felt completely ripped off! I pay that much for a stinkin hot wing which is half of the smallest piece of the chicken. Here I'm getting a full thigh and I wanted to drive back and demand my dollar bill back.

Popeye, all I can say is you should stick with spinach and I'll get religion and go back to Church's.