Thursday, July 2, 2009

An Open Letter To Jeff Flake

Representative Flake,

How's it going? I understand you had a great weekend. I'm sure you heard there was a very special piece of legislation that was voted on this weekend. And from what I hear you are very much against it. Of course you weren't against it enough to show up to vote on it.

I know you had a very important family matter to attend to. Of course this wasn't the normal, run of the mill, screw the tax payer, piece of legislation. This was a whopper. This was a forever change the very fabric of the nation type of legislation. It's too bad you missed it. I bet it was a doozy of a vote. Oh- you caught highlights of it on Fox that night. I'm glad they had cable down there. I'd hate to think you missed all that action.

Of course those of us who you represent would have preferred you be there to, you know, represent us. To be honest, and I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I would say for you to not be there is a dereliction of duty But what do I know, I'm only a poor working schlub who'll be paying for your absence that day for years to come. But I don't want you to worry about me, the key is that your daughter feels good about her daddy.

Of course I have to wonder how grateful your daughter will be in 20 years when she can't make ends meet and she finds out you could have done your part to stop it, but you decided to show up to an event she barely remembers. It's cool though. I'm a dad too. I know how hard it is to have to miss events because you have to put food on the table. And it's not like you have a break coming up for you to spend time with her....oh wait, I guess you do.

You know what's cool about your job is that you not only represent your daughter, but also my son, my neighbors kids, their neighbors kids and so on. I'm sure it must have been a difficult decision to put your daughters happiness over our kids future. It's a heavy burden you bear being forced to represent us in Washington. Oh wait, you volunteered to represent us. It's too bad we couldn't cast a vote for your daughter this weekend or even better cast a vote against this monstrosity of a bill which is kinda what we wanted you to do, but you were busy.

I know your heart was in the right place. Unfortunately, your brain was in the wrong place. I believe it can be located firmly implanted in your derriere if you need it for anything. The trouble is that this a mess that you and your fellow Republicans helped cause. Your 8 years of screw ups under W allowed the left to come into control of Washington. It's funny because in my house, when we make a mess we clean it up, not take a trip down to Alabama. Maybe we're silly that way.

It sounds like you've let your daughter down a lot in the past. I'm sure that she'll be glad to know that by choosing her pageant over fighting to save the Republic you'll have plenty of time to spend with her after the next primary. I'll do everything I can to make sure that her daddy won't be burdened with all that flying to Washington for silly votes anymore.

What you've obviously forgotten is that to be a US Representative is high calling that comes with difficult responsibilities and even tougher sacrifices. As a working father struggling to make ends meet, I have had to make a lot of sacrifices for my family and yet my son bears no ill will towards me because he knows I'm doing what's best for him. I'm sure you're daughter would have understood as well, given the odious nature of this legislation and the massive impact it will have on all of us. Kids are good that way.

So until we can get someone who remembers this, please try to think about all of us groundlings who have put our trust in you. I hear there's a particularly nasty health care bill working it's way through the system. Let's just hope the vote doesn't fall on the same day as a school play.